He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
