Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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