those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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