whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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