We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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