dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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