i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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