Plan B is the new Plan A
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
