Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
smell my finger.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
