OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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