operation harelip BJ is a go
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
