I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
