My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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