my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
