So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
