i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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