i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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