Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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