I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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