who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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