All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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