So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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