wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
