Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
