Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
