You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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