seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
