Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
