my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
