Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
