Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Randomize
