Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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