Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
