No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
