I could have mohawked her pubes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
