I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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