Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
