It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
