God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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