Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
