there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
