How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
