Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When are your genitals available?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
