Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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