for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
