i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
