Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
