i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
