By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
