I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Jerry, you need to find god
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
